4 Communication Styles: How To Communicate Effectively

If someone told you they’re a collaborative worker, would you train them for a job by barking orders at them? It wouldn’t be productive. Instead, you’d probably engage them in back-and-forth dialogue to help them download information. Likewise, if a friend asked you to “tell them the honest truth,” you’d give them a straightforward opinion, rather than a timid reply filled with euphemisms.

In both of these scenarios, you’re adapting your communication style to meet the needs of someone else. Although it’s easy to fall back on your default communication patterns, in a professional setting, you may be called upon to embrace different types of communication styles to meet the needs of the moment. Here’s a breakdown of the four main communication styles, plus tips for constructive communication in the workplace.

The 4 communication styles

• Passive
• Aggressive
• Passive-aggressive
• Assertive

Psychologists in the 1970s and ’80s began describing four primary communication styles as a framework to better understand interpersonal relationships. They were used by business leaders to help their teams communicate effectively, particularly in high-stress workplace interactions. 

The four communication styles are passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive. They describe different ways that individuals express their needs, thoughts, and feelings, and they can significantly impact interpersonal communication and dynamics. No single psychologist gets credit for first identifying these four styles, but the concept was notably popularized by Dr. Manuel J. Smith in his 1975 book, When I Say No, I Feel Guilty.

Here’s a breakdown of the four primary communication styles:

Passive

The passive communication style is characterized by an avoidance of expressing one’s emotions, needs, and opinions, or perhaps expressing them in a way that permits others to easily disregard them. A passive communicator may deprioritize their personal needs because they wish to avoid conflict or because they lack conviction.

In a workplace setting, passive communicators tend to avoid direct communication, especially when they fear someone’s judgment. They may find themselves agreeing with others despite personal reservations, avoiding conflict at all costs, and failing to assert their own rights or needs. Colleagues may view such people as agreeable or easygoing; however, the passive communicators themselves may feel resentment, unmet needs, and a pervading sense that they’re being taken advantage of. Over the long haul, the passive style may promote negative feelings that can be hard to shake.

For example, imagine a marketing department meeting where Eric, a passive communicator, has serious doubts about a proposed ad campaign. Yet, not wishing to cause conflict, he keeps his thoughts to himself. The department head goes around the table asking if people like his campaign idea. Eric shows modest enthusiasm at best, and he hopes this will prompt other team members to draw out his true opinion. However, no one does. His submissive communication style gets him nowhere.

• Common phrases from passive communicators. “Whatever you think.” “I’m fine with whatever.” “Forget it, don’t worry about it.”

• Common nonverbal cues from passive communicators. Avoiding eye contact, shrugging, looking down, forced smiles, quiet tone of voice.

Aggressive

The aggressive communication style is characterized by a person expressing their needs, feelings, and opinions in a way that violates the rights of others. Aggressive communicators are known for dominating conversations, blaming, criticizing, disregarding others’ feelings, and using forceful or intimidating language. Adopting an aggressive style can impede collaboration and conflict resolution.

In professional life, an aggressive personal style might initially come across as confidence or decisiveness, but before long, it can breed tension, fear, or resentment among colleagues. Some situations call for a slightly more aggressive style, particularly those where decisions must happen quickly. However, overuse can damage workplace culture and make it hard to form meaningful relationships. Aggressive communicators tend to dominate conversations, which is antithetical to collaboration.

Imagine the same marketing meeting described above. Seated beside Eric, Julia responds to her boss’s advertising plan with intense criticism. She begins speaking about the product as though she understands it and others do not. Her body language also conveys aggression: She points at others and stares them down with a humorless expression.

• Common phrases from aggressive communicators. “We don’t have time for this.” “Look at me.” “Are you stupid?” “Whatever you’re doing, just stop.”

• Common nonverbal cues from aggressive communicators. Intense eye contact, impinging on personal space, pointing, and standing when others are seated.

Passive-aggressive

Passive-aggressive communication tends to express negativity, but in a way that avoids direct conflict. A passive-aggressive communicator might signal dissatisfaction through sarcasm, backhanded compliments, or nonverbal behaviors like procrastination. Such people often pursue indirect communication, where they don’t express their feelings to a person’s face but rather talk about them behind their backs, perhaps hoping that word will trickle back to the person who annoys them.

In the workplace, a passive-aggressive communication style can confuse colleagues and breed distrust. In the short term, passive-aggressive communicators may manage to avoid direct conflict. Yet over time, this communication style festers underlying issues and prevents genuine resolution, preventing any chance of healthy relationships.

In the hypothetical marketing meeting, Eric and Julia’s colleague, Marcos, rolls his eyes and makes a sarcastic remark: “Gee, I thought the goal was to sell the product.” The remark is more mean than funny. Marcos is also giving a colleague the silent treatment because he thinks she is annoying. That doesn’t stop him from raising his eyebrows and lightly smirking whenever she speaks. Through his passive-aggression, Marcos is a manipulative communicator who tries to change others through evident—though unspoken—disapproval.

• Common phrases from passive-aggressive communicators. “That’s, um … interesting.” “You’re joking, right?” “Yeah, I’m gonna let you handle that one.” 

• Common nonverbal cues from passive-aggressive communicators. Audible sighs, tuning out, visibly doing other work while someone is speaking, frequently chuckling or raising eyebrows.

Assertive

There is just one communication style of the four listed that psychologists consider healthy for both workplace and personal interactions: the assertive communication style. An assertive communicator can express themselves clearly, concisely, and directly. Using social skills and emotional intelligence, assertive communicators express what’s on their mind while maintaining boundaries and concern for others’ well-being.

Assertion is typically the best communication style for work environments. An assertive person communicates their honest feelings, and they advocate for themselves and their ideas. Yet they manage to do so while maintaining positive relationships and promoting a collaborative approach. They do this by checking in with others, practicing active listening, and taking action to address other people’s concerns. They’re also mindful of others’ time, offering clear and concise communication that stays on topic. Assertive communication also works for customer management, where you’re speaking with people who aren’t a part of your organization. Many of the most effective customer service phrases are built on assertive language.

Let’s revisit the marketing team one more time. The team’s manager, Stephanie, speaks in an assertive style. She believes the proposed ad campaign is well considered, and she lays out her reasoning for this in a concise, five-minute rundown. She then calls upon different team members for comments. When Julia and Marcos each express negativity, Stephanie addresses their criticisms directly and in good faith, suggesting they meet privately to candidly talk through further differences. Her assertive behavior keeps the team focused while letting her build stronger relationships with her direct reports.

• Common phrases from assertive communicators. “Here’s a way we can deal with that.” “That’s a fair point.” “I hear your solution, but I’d like clarity about what problem you’re aiming to fix.” “I appreciate everyone’s hard work on this matter.”

• Common nonverbal cues from assertive communicators. Torso facing others when speaking or listening, listening without interrupting, maintaining a calm demeanor, steady eye contact that isn’t overly intense.

How to communicate more assertively in the workplace

• Learn to respectfully say “no”
• Make “I” statements
• Ask for help
• Actively listen
• Mind your body language
• Steer your remarks toward problem-solving and collaboration

Workers use different communication styles with their colleagues, but when it comes to open, honest communication, it’s wise to be assertive. Firm but respectful assertion can foster more effective communication than a submissive style, where you subvert your own needs and opinions for the sake of keeping the peace. Assertion is also more sustainable than an aggressive, dominant style, where you can wear down colleagues with your grating demands.

Here are some tips to improve your communication skills at work and build stronger collaborative partnerships:

Learn to respectfully say “no”

It’s OK to decline requests that overload you or don’t align with your priorities. Be direct but polite in your refusal, offering a brief explanation without over-apologizing. For instance: “Thanks for thinking of me for this project. I’m already working at capacity, but I can let you know when I’m done with my current projects.”

Make “I” statements

Express your needs and feelings using “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, instead of saying “You always interrupt me,” say “I would love to get the whole idea out before you comment, and then I welcome your feedback.”

Ask for help

Assertion doesn’t mean you always have to be in charge. Asking colleagues for help can foster trust and make others feel valued. The key is to do so while still respecting their time. For example: “I need help with page layout, and I think you’re much better at it than I am. Could I grab 30 minutes of your time?”

Actively listen

When a colleague is talking, ask yourself: “Am I listening to what they’re saying, or am I simply waiting to speak?” The answer should always be the former. Take in what others have to say, and allow their words to potentially change your perspective.

Mind your body language

Everyone can benefit from self-awareness when it comes to body language. When talking to a colleague, face them with your full torso; you close yourself off when you just turn your head while your body faces elsewhere. Avoid dismissive gestures like eye rolls or rapping your fingers on the table. Maintain steady eye contact, but refrain from staring someone down, which is aggressive.

Steer your remarks toward problem-solving and collaboration

Focus on the common goals that align you and your colleagues. When sharing opinions, focus on the initiative at hand and refrain from making judgmental commentary about the people you work with. Look for ways to include others and elevate their contributions.